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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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 Posted - 2005/02/22 : 14:44:14
DON'T FART IN BED!!!
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound
asleep, she
looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck,
gizzard, liver and all the spare parts. A malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, followed
by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the
bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these
years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my
guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!
chill out and take some hash coz excy's out 2get ****in mashed!!
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swansea247
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,626 posts
Joined: May, 2004
41 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2005/02/22 : 14:59:23
uhhhh dude thats is fcuking sick 
Six days on the run, Looking for a place to have some fun..... 
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slavetomysoundwave
Senior Member
United Kingdom
378 posts
Joined: May, 2003
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 Posted - 2005/02/22 : 15:03:19
lol!!! 
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DJ Mole
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,505 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
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Posted - 2005/02/22 : 15:13:47
heard tghat somewhere bfore still good tho
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
http://www.molesociety.tk
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http://www.discogs.com/collection?user=DJ-Mole
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http://www.totallybonkers.co.uk
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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2005/02/22 : 15:18:44
lol i thought it would liven things up abit as the day feels like it is going well slow :)
chill out and take some hash coz excy's out 2get ****in mashed!!
__________________________________
----------------------
Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
------------------------------
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xx_lucy_xx
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
607 posts
Joined: Oct, 2004
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Posted - 2005/02/22 : 16:12:35
Haha!
Sick but funny
xxxx
*you either love me or wana F*K me*
__________________________________
quote:
Originally posted by DJ Mole:
OMG a fanny thread W00T
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cotteincandy
Average Member
United States
193 posts
Joined: Sep, 2004
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 Posted - 2005/02/22 : 20:16:10
Thats nasty!
Hello, I love you.
__________________________________
Hello, I love you.
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mark-ireland
Advanced Member
Ireland
1,667 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
17 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2005/02/22 : 21:49:56
------------------------------
We will not compromise quality for popularity amongst the minority.
__________________________________
Oxygen Records Support Irish Hardcore Click Below
http://downloads.imorecords.com/label/?id=270
http://www.irishclubbing.net
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HardCore Latina
Advanced Member
United States
611 posts
Joined: Sep, 2004
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Posted - 2005/02/23 : 05:29:36
LOL ***** up
[[Come into my dream..let me show you where I've been...]]
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DJ Mole
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,505 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
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Posted - 2005/02/23 : 10:10:38
quote:
Originally posted by HardCore Latina:
LOL ***** up
[[Come into my dream..let me show you where I've been...]]
you latinas like ir rough dont ya's :P
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
http://www.molesociety.tk
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
http://www.discogs.com/collection?user=DJ-Mole
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
http://www.totallybonkers.co.uk
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whispering
Moderator
Finland
8,455 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2005/02/23 : 10:28:25
^^ *sigh* Mole has been watching porn again. You know its fictional, right? 
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HardCore Latina
Advanced Member
United States
611 posts
Joined: Sep, 2004
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Posted - 2005/02/24 : 00:04:51
quote:
Originally posted by DJ Mole:
quote:
Originally posted by HardCore Latina:
LOL ***** up
[[Come into my dream..let me show you where I've been...]]
you latinas like ir rough dont ya's :P
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
http://www.molesociety.tk
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
http://www.discogs.com/collection?user=DJ-Mole
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
http://www.totallybonkers.co.uk
Hard - to - da- core !
[[Come into my dream..let me show you where I've been...]]
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Fraud
Senior Member
United States
487 posts
Joined: Oct, 2004
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Posted - 2005/02/24 : 00:25:22
Gross !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hardcore Will Never Die.
And I approve of this message.
Free Fall Recordings
http://downloads.imorecords.com/label.asp?lid=86
http://www.drumandbasstv.com
http://breakbeatscience.com/
http://ebaumsworld.com
__________________________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hardcore Will Never Die.
And I approve of this message.
http://www.drumandbasstv.com
http://breakbeatscience.com/
http://ebaumsworld.com
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Sean Apollo
Advanced Member
United States
1,687 posts
Joined: Jul, 2003
143 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2005/02/24 : 03:15:15
.....DAMNIT I laughed! *slaps self*
---------------------------------------
- Sean Apollo
http://djseanapollo.tripod.com
http://www.happyhardcore.com
North American Hardcore Movement
Free Fall Recordings
Rave n' Beats USA
__________________________________
- Sean Apollo
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hardcore anorak
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
971 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2005/02/25 : 12:28:49
lol nice 1 i cannot do that otherwise i will get a big elbow write in the face but if i do it and betend 2b a sleep i can get away wid it lol
its anorak not anarach
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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2005/02/25 : 12:34:18
lol i say jus let them rip 
chill out and take some hash coz excy's out 2get ****in mashed!!
__________________________________
----------------------
Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
------------------------------
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